It's been a few weeks and I'm feeling bloggy. That might just be the blues as well but who knows, here it goes. Roy and I are down in the dumps depressed at this time. The court findings came back and kicked us in the face. We are discussing options at this point. Reaching out to Father Advocacy Groups in here in town to assist us in this up hill battle for equality. We will persevere though and keep strong at this time. No religion needed.
On another note, and another terrible note it is, I was attacked after Rin's birthday party. As I was leaving the park, a man on his bike rode up to my car and accosted me by yelling at me and spitting on my for "voting for Obama". I have a 2012 BarackObama.com bumper sticker and this was all that was needed to incite rage and hate in this, a complete stranger, to act as such to me!! I can understand feeling as strong about a topic or person, surely I have wanted to spit on the Planned Parenthood protestors or people picketting LGBT businesses and events, but to actually ACT upon those feelings is truly another ballpark. It takes a level of stupidity, hate and someones own self loathing to attack a complete stranger based off a non provacative sticker on someones car?!?!?! Needless to say, physically I am fine but my faith in humanity is shaken.
Saturday, May 12, 2012
Sunday, April 8, 2012
Happy Sunday... well maybe...
Well, a few days have passed and I have been itching to be able to write again so here we are. Happy Easter(just so I am able to recognize when this post occurred). Roy and I spent most of the day lounging around, waiting for Rin to get here so we could show him his plunder. Loads of chalk, candy, etc but most importantly, these adorable little plush Peep bunny dolls I found at the grocery. I will be going back tomorrow in hopes of a 50% off sale to buy the chick versions since Rin has a fondness of small cute things in a variety of colors(which by the way is absolutely perfect since I can get away with buying him girlish things since most of my time is spent acknowledging disgusting boy habits, but I digress).
The joys of step motherhood just keep getting greater and greater as it is a constant battle between Roy and "baby momma", who has a penchant for making things difficult. Easter Sunday we get Rin at 3pm and I take him to school Monday mornings. Low and behold, his mother has yet again failed to provide for her son in terms of necessities and information for his father. Rin showed up without proper shoes for school(she has not given back any of the shoes we send him in), no backpack(assuredly no homework done as well), unfed and on top of that we are informed by Roys grandmother(who graciously picked him up from baby mommas boyfriends parents house) that Rin is sick and he has medicine to take. Also we then discover baby momma has not been cashing the child support checks we have been sending for the past 2 months. Possibly the start of a future attempt at sabotaging the child custody court date we have upcoming. Anyway.... The most frustrating part is all I see is Roy and I trying to do everything we can for his son(And don't get me wrong, I came from a childhood of two houses, back and forth drama between parents and trying to make sense of everything as a child, teen and then adult) and her doing everything she can to diminish Roys right to fatherhood. We make sure that nothing bad is ever said in front of Rin about his mother and her choices, encourage all healthy relationships that the child may have and try to nurture and instill good habits of hygiene, attitudes towards learning, relationships with other people(adults and children alike), responsibilities like cleaning up after yourself, being able to handle things normal 7 year olds should do, respect and love for all creatures. I digress again though.
Let's change the subject(yes, this is the point you walked in and I got all embarrassed because I am blogging).
I have two major birthday parties coming up in addition to many very important peoples birthdays on my list. My mother is turning 50 at the end of May and Rin will be turning 7 at the beginning. I am throwing his party and will be helping throw my mothers. Both are turning into quite sizeable parties.
Rin's party is a water balloon/park/pizza/Super Mario themed party. The guest list prior to RSVP is 70 and as my first child's party I am feeling quite overwhelmed. I am very adept at making lists and planning so I know I have everything under control, I just can't help but feel the need to talk about it every second. I have the games planned, the space at the park reserved, all decorations purchased, handmade invitations created by Cuties Parties and will be purchasing the matching thank you cards from her as well, plans for all the food, goodie bags and safety all drawn up. I still continue though, despite meticulous planning, to feel that I am not prepared. I guess no one is fully prepared for their first big party. Both my mother and Roys mother are helping and of course I have the support of his family and friends so pull this off but I am still unsure. This may possibly be due to the fact that I feel I am overstepping my boundaries as a step parent. I'll explain...
I do not want Rins mother to attend. I will not be inviting her and if she shows up I probably will feel like the entire time I am being judged and cursed under her breath. Rin has not given me any idea that his mother is throwing him a party and seeing how we haven't been invited( and if we were it was a the expense of half the party with no option to invite anyone of Roys side of the family). Frankly, I am sick of it and I am bound and determined to throw the best damn birthday party I can for him. But at the same time, am I doing wrong to Rin? Roy shares my feelings toward Rins mother and even moreso because he deals with her directly but I want this day to be special, I want all of my hard work and love to be rewarded with smiles and happiness by Rin and his friends and our family. I help raise this child, aren't I entitled to be proud of this and show off??
For my mothers birthday, she is planning a large, catered party with rentals, a bartender, lights, glitz and above all EASE for her. I have been given the task of procuring the dessert and my mother, along with most everyone else in the food world, is obsessed currently with cupcakes. In the next few days, she and I will be going on a cupcake tasting tour so delicious pictures so come soon. In addition to that I have decided to make a more personal gift for her so I am going to scan, categorize and save all of her pictures for her. It is looking like a daunting task and I am slowly regretting wanting to do it but nevertheless, my mother only turns 50 once and she gave her life to raise my sister and I. My mother is one of my best friends so soon I hope to be sharing some of these photos here(once I start to scan that is).
For now my melatonin and sleeping pill are kicking in and I am already rambling so cheers!
The joys of step motherhood just keep getting greater and greater as it is a constant battle between Roy and "baby momma", who has a penchant for making things difficult. Easter Sunday we get Rin at 3pm and I take him to school Monday mornings. Low and behold, his mother has yet again failed to provide for her son in terms of necessities and information for his father. Rin showed up without proper shoes for school(she has not given back any of the shoes we send him in), no backpack(assuredly no homework done as well), unfed and on top of that we are informed by Roys grandmother(who graciously picked him up from baby mommas boyfriends parents house) that Rin is sick and he has medicine to take. Also we then discover baby momma has not been cashing the child support checks we have been sending for the past 2 months. Possibly the start of a future attempt at sabotaging the child custody court date we have upcoming. Anyway.... The most frustrating part is all I see is Roy and I trying to do everything we can for his son(And don't get me wrong, I came from a childhood of two houses, back and forth drama between parents and trying to make sense of everything as a child, teen and then adult) and her doing everything she can to diminish Roys right to fatherhood. We make sure that nothing bad is ever said in front of Rin about his mother and her choices, encourage all healthy relationships that the child may have and try to nurture and instill good habits of hygiene, attitudes towards learning, relationships with other people(adults and children alike), responsibilities like cleaning up after yourself, being able to handle things normal 7 year olds should do, respect and love for all creatures. I digress again though.
Let's change the subject(yes, this is the point you walked in and I got all embarrassed because I am blogging).
I have two major birthday parties coming up in addition to many very important peoples birthdays on my list. My mother is turning 50 at the end of May and Rin will be turning 7 at the beginning. I am throwing his party and will be helping throw my mothers. Both are turning into quite sizeable parties.
Rin's party is a water balloon/park/pizza/Super Mario themed party. The guest list prior to RSVP is 70 and as my first child's party I am feeling quite overwhelmed. I am very adept at making lists and planning so I know I have everything under control, I just can't help but feel the need to talk about it every second. I have the games planned, the space at the park reserved, all decorations purchased, handmade invitations created by Cuties Parties and will be purchasing the matching thank you cards from her as well, plans for all the food, goodie bags and safety all drawn up. I still continue though, despite meticulous planning, to feel that I am not prepared. I guess no one is fully prepared for their first big party. Both my mother and Roys mother are helping and of course I have the support of his family and friends so pull this off but I am still unsure. This may possibly be due to the fact that I feel I am overstepping my boundaries as a step parent. I'll explain...
I do not want Rins mother to attend. I will not be inviting her and if she shows up I probably will feel like the entire time I am being judged and cursed under her breath. Rin has not given me any idea that his mother is throwing him a party and seeing how we haven't been invited( and if we were it was a the expense of half the party with no option to invite anyone of Roys side of the family). Frankly, I am sick of it and I am bound and determined to throw the best damn birthday party I can for him. But at the same time, am I doing wrong to Rin? Roy shares my feelings toward Rins mother and even moreso because he deals with her directly but I want this day to be special, I want all of my hard work and love to be rewarded with smiles and happiness by Rin and his friends and our family. I help raise this child, aren't I entitled to be proud of this and show off??
For my mothers birthday, she is planning a large, catered party with rentals, a bartender, lights, glitz and above all EASE for her. I have been given the task of procuring the dessert and my mother, along with most everyone else in the food world, is obsessed currently with cupcakes. In the next few days, she and I will be going on a cupcake tasting tour so delicious pictures so come soon. In addition to that I have decided to make a more personal gift for her so I am going to scan, categorize and save all of her pictures for her. It is looking like a daunting task and I am slowly regretting wanting to do it but nevertheless, my mother only turns 50 once and she gave her life to raise my sister and I. My mother is one of my best friends so soon I hope to be sharing some of these photos here(once I start to scan that is).
For now my melatonin and sleeping pill are kicking in and I am already rambling so cheers!
Wednesday, April 4, 2012
Welcome package.
My first real online blog! How exciting!? Actually, this is a lie. My first real online blog was Dead Journal(anyone here remember this whiny emo website?) when I was a whiny emo teenager, ha! From then I ventured into Myspace(thanks to a friend who couldn't believe I didn't have one) and upgraded from that a few years later to Facebook(thanks again to a separate friend who also couldn't believe I didn't have my own account, blah!). I've since disbanded the FB account and haven't even logged into the Myspace account for over a year( but for some reason can't bring myself to delete it, mostly because I forget the password constantly)...
Now that I've brought you up to speed on my social networking history( not sure why I leaded with that), hows about an introduction...
I am going to go by S or sometimes Lette throughout this blog. I don't want to use my real name(and cant think of any clever nickname) and really this thing is only for venting(we will get more into that later). I am a 25 year old Phoenician(Phx, AZ) living in Scottsdale with my boyfriend(Roy) of three years and his son(Bin), again both pseudonyms, who we have every other week. We have a monster of a cat named Face, whom I've lived with as a constant roommate since she was dumped on my by an ex of mine. I work for the Corporation and have been there about 7 months as a Fraud Analyst(boring) and am trying to get a leg up on the corporate ladder by working hard and basically trying to kiss ass any way I can. I am going to be starting up online college again in about 2 weeks and will be transferring to ASU soon to enter into the nonprofit management and philanthropy school there called Lodestar(more on this later). I have had PTSD since I was 14, have a weak immune system, have been on every depression medication I can think of, have severe anxiety and anti social tendencies, image issues, over think everything and I am a bit of a complainer. Hmm.. what else...
Oh, my interests. Geeze, these range anywhere from starting crafts and never finishing them, reading too many books of all genres, watching ridiculous TV and movies( currently on the 3 season of the X-Files), self diagnosing peoples illnesses and psychosis, reading the news and trying to stay on top of politics(abortion should be legal and covered by federal funding, gay marriage is the same as any other marriage and should be allowed everywhere, religion is destroying the human race, equal rights, free education, human rights, blah blah blah+ , baking and cooking(and the reading of both), Etsy, making lists(every time I admit this my stomach turns a little), planning things, playing video games, homeopathic medicines and DIY beauty and medicine, organic everything, gardening, scanning the internets for pictures and interesting reads(I will read everything, even the backs of boxes and bottles given the chance) and singing really really loudly in my car every chance I am alone.
Lastly there's my family. Woah, where to get started here. There's my mother and my sister and me. My sister is 18 months younger than me and I love the little brat. My mother lives with her partner and the 2 boys of her niece whom I refer to as my little brothers. There's my aunt and her son and his daughter who live together who I am extremely close to. Tons of family friends, most of whom I regard as my aunts and uncles(gay families and their need to be a "family" haha, jk). My father is out of the picture as well as his entire side of my family(as of 7 years ago) Then Roy has his parents who live here in AZ and his two sisters who live in CA, one of which who has a new baby boy. Tons of extra family members there as well. We both have our friends and my best is my Wife( who better not actually move to Ohio if you are ever reading this).
Other than that my life is as the title puts, exceptionally ordinary, and I just want another project for me to do. Something I can add things too(I'm invariably coming up with new things I want to try and do and see and read) and comment on. Someplace I can put my crafts and projects on, wants and wishes, accomplishments and failures, someplace I can bitch about my life, something that is just mine.
Well, this is my first post. Obviously things will become more structured and colorful with links and pictures and glitz and glitter but at least you know me. I'll probably talk about Bins upcoming birthday party and my fears of being the over zealous "step mom" and throwing the birthday party without his mother or her "permission" as she put it. More on that tomorrow, time to wake up Roy and make him watch War Horse with me and eat popcorn. Night folks.
Now that I've brought you up to speed on my social networking history( not sure why I leaded with that), hows about an introduction...
I am going to go by S or sometimes Lette throughout this blog. I don't want to use my real name(and cant think of any clever nickname) and really this thing is only for venting(we will get more into that later). I am a 25 year old Phoenician(Phx, AZ) living in Scottsdale with my boyfriend(Roy) of three years and his son(Bin), again both pseudonyms, who we have every other week. We have a monster of a cat named Face, whom I've lived with as a constant roommate since she was dumped on my by an ex of mine. I work for the Corporation and have been there about 7 months as a Fraud Analyst(boring) and am trying to get a leg up on the corporate ladder by working hard and basically trying to kiss ass any way I can. I am going to be starting up online college again in about 2 weeks and will be transferring to ASU soon to enter into the nonprofit management and philanthropy school there called Lodestar(more on this later). I have had PTSD since I was 14, have a weak immune system, have been on every depression medication I can think of, have severe anxiety and anti social tendencies, image issues, over think everything and I am a bit of a complainer. Hmm.. what else...
Oh, my interests. Geeze, these range anywhere from starting crafts and never finishing them, reading too many books of all genres, watching ridiculous TV and movies( currently on the 3 season of the X-Files), self diagnosing peoples illnesses and psychosis, reading the news and trying to stay on top of politics(abortion should be legal and covered by federal funding, gay marriage is the same as any other marriage and should be allowed everywhere, religion is destroying the human race, equal rights, free education, human rights, blah blah blah+ , baking and cooking(and the reading of both), Etsy, making lists(every time I admit this my stomach turns a little), planning things, playing video games, homeopathic medicines and DIY beauty and medicine, organic everything, gardening, scanning the internets for pictures and interesting reads(I will read everything, even the backs of boxes and bottles given the chance) and singing really really loudly in my car every chance I am alone.
Lastly there's my family. Woah, where to get started here. There's my mother and my sister and me. My sister is 18 months younger than me and I love the little brat. My mother lives with her partner and the 2 boys of her niece whom I refer to as my little brothers. There's my aunt and her son and his daughter who live together who I am extremely close to. Tons of family friends, most of whom I regard as my aunts and uncles(gay families and their need to be a "family" haha, jk). My father is out of the picture as well as his entire side of my family(as of 7 years ago) Then Roy has his parents who live here in AZ and his two sisters who live in CA, one of which who has a new baby boy. Tons of extra family members there as well. We both have our friends and my best is my Wife( who better not actually move to Ohio if you are ever reading this).
Other than that my life is as the title puts, exceptionally ordinary, and I just want another project for me to do. Something I can add things too(I'm invariably coming up with new things I want to try and do and see and read) and comment on. Someplace I can put my crafts and projects on, wants and wishes, accomplishments and failures, someplace I can bitch about my life, something that is just mine.
Well, this is my first post. Obviously things will become more structured and colorful with links and pictures and glitz and glitter but at least you know me. I'll probably talk about Bins upcoming birthday party and my fears of being the over zealous "step mom" and throwing the birthday party without his mother or her "permission" as she put it. More on that tomorrow, time to wake up Roy and make him watch War Horse with me and eat popcorn. Night folks.
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